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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26448832">Comfort</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storyteller_of_the_Forest/pseuds/Storyteller_of_the_Forest'>Storyteller_of_the_Forest</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Brothers, Comfort, Family is family, Feels, Flashbacks, Gen, Healing, Kindness, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki is a Good Bro (Marvel), New Asgard, No Slash, PTSD, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Thor Needs a Hug (Marvel), Trauma, all of the feels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:41:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,203</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26448832</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storyteller_of_the_Forest/pseuds/Storyteller_of_the_Forest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Recovering from trauma is not easy and it is not a straight line. There are bound to be setbacks and difficult times. It becomes even more difficult when you're not entirely sure what you're dealing with.</p>
<p>When Thor experiences a low period, Loki reflects on the early days of his brother's return and one particularly frightening incident. It reminds him just how far they have come.</p>
<p>(Part of my ongoing New Asgard series)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki &amp; Thor (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Comfort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello all.</p>
<p>I know I'm a little late. Truth be told, I have had a really rough couple of weeks. I wasn't really feeling up to writing, much less posting. I haven't responded to any comments yet and I am sorry for making you wait (I figured readers would prefer a new one-shot first. I will get around to responding to all new comments on the fics in the next few days. You have my word).</p>
<p>I don't have much to say about this fic. The present day part takes place shortly after "Steadfast" and the flashback parts take place shortly after Thor recovered from exhaustion (shortly after his arrival in New Asgard).</p>
<p>I'm looking forward to reading all your reactions to this fic. Your words always brighten my day and warm my heart. Thank you for taking the time to leave them &lt;3</p>
<p>REGULAR WARNINGS</p>
<p>Haven't seen Infinity War and am not going to see Infinity War (the Russos are terrible human beings. I don't want to hear about them or their god awful garbage).</p>
<p>I don't do romantic ships, especially not between family members. If you're into that kind of thing, go elsewhere (and don't tag my work with incest ships, please).</p>
<p>I'm still somewhat new to writing fics. So I apologize for any mistakes, mis-characterizations, formatting errors, or just any glaring errors. Please be gentle: writing fics is literally stress relief for me.</p>
<p>Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. I don't own anything, obviously all characters and recognizable aspects belong to Marvel.</p>
<p>I hope you enjoy the story and thank you for reading :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p>Loki anxiously paced around the main room of the house, slowly rubbing his hands together. Pausing at the entrance of the hallway, he peered down to the closed study door, watching it closely. He listened, hoping he would catch a snippet of conversation. Alas, there was nothing. He turned away from the hall and moved back into the main room again. The cats were watching him intently, unused to seeing the dark-haired god so agitated.</p>
<p>It had been a few weeks since they had returned to New Asgard from their time abroad. Travel was still severely limited, but Thor had decided to call upon the Bifrost. Loki was dangerously bored, and after the trickster declared his intent to burn the dwelling to the ground for the fourth time in a week, the god of thunder decided they would be better off quarantining at home.</p>
<p><em>I should have protested more, </em>Loki thought as he moved over to the couch and flopped down on it. Thor had recovered most of his strength, but the Bifrost still proved to be a daunting feat. The ride was much rougher than it normally was. Once they had arrived in New Asgard, Thor had slumped to his knees. Loki had to help his brother home, where Thor slept through the next day.</p>
<p>When he woke up, Thor immediately insisted they resume their duties full-time, much to Loki’s chagrin. For the first week, there was more than enough to keep them busy. Or so Loki had thought.</p>
<p>Then, he started noticing worrying symptoms in his brother. Not of a virus, but of a deeper hurt. Thor was listless and frequently had trouble focusing. He spent more and more time on the couch, resting. His sleep was more troubled than it had been in quite some time. A sadness haunted his face and oftentimes, Loki caught him staring forlornly out a window.</p>
<p>It was frighteningly like the early years, after Thor’s return. Before they had any understanding of the importance of mental health.</p>
<p>For a few days, Loki convinced himself that Thor was experiencing a migraine. It would clear up soon enough. He was worrying about nothing.</p>
<p>Then, Thor woke him in the middle of the night.</p>
<p>_*_</p>
<p>“Loki?”</p>
<p>The dark-haired god’s eyes fluttered open and he turned slightly so he could look over his shoulder. Thor was sitting on the bed, watching him. Loki rubbed his eyes groggily.</p>
<p>“What? What’s the matter?”</p>
<p>Thor swallowed, his brow creasing a little. “Would you mind sitting in on the meetings by yourself tomorrow? I need to speak with my therapist in the evening and I think it would be best if I took the day off.”</p>
<p>An old fear stirred up in Loki and he propped himself up on his elbow, studying his brother. His expression was haunted. Loki knew the quarantine was difficult for the god of thunder. Dealing with it, being somewhat helpless in the situation, was undoubtedly stirring up some unpleasant memories. Loki anticipated Thor would experience at least one spell of melancholy and very likely more, but he assumed they would be mild.</p>
<p>“How bad is it?” Loki asked, not needing to clarify the question further. Thor sighed quietly and looked over at his brother, tears welling in his eye.</p>
<p>“Bad,” he responded. <em>I’m struggling, brother. I need help.</em></p>
<p>“Stay here tonight,” Loki requested. “Just so I know you don’t do anything impulsive and foolish.”</p>
<p>At the familiar taunt, a faint smile briefly tugged at the corners of Thor’s lips. He pulled back the covers and scooted onto the mattress, finding a comfortable position. Once he had settled in, Loki put an arm around him and laid his head back on the pillow, studying his brother’s weary face. Thor looked over at him.</p>
<p>“You will participate in the meetings tomorrow, take on our responsibilities?” he asked.</p>
<p>“I will,” the dark-haired god agreed. Thor smiled sadly.</p>
<p>“Thank you, brother,” he said softly, gratefully. Loki nodded and Thor turned his gaze back to the ceiling. His expression was once again troubled, and the trickster could see tears starting to crawl down his cheek.</p>
<p>“Promise me you’ll be here in the morning,” Thor requested softly, staring at the ceiling.</p>
<p>“Only if you promise the same,” Loki replied. Thor glanced over at him.</p>
<p>“I promise,” Thor said, sincerely.</p>
<p>“As do I,” Loki said. Thor curled up, closing his eye. Loki waited for a few moments, making sure his brother was resting peacefully. Then he closed his eyes and allowed his mind to drift away from the waking world.</p>
<p>_*_</p>
<p>Loki sighed. He still felt some frustration, even perhaps a hint of resentment, that his brother sought out help. Loki knew it was what Thor needed, but he still felt he should be able to help his brother without any outside aid. The Odinsons had looked out for each other most of their lives. Loki didn’t want someone else helping his brother, he didn’t trust anyone else with the task.</p>
<p>And yet, he knew such help was the reason his brother still lived. Such specialized doctors had saved Thor’s life.</p>
<p>The trickster respected that Thor needed the aid of such doctors from time to time. Still, it did sting his pride somewhat.</p>
<p>Glancing at the time on his phone, Loki turned his face back to the ceiling. It had already been hours. What could they possibly be saying? Why was it taking so long? Was his brother really feeling so poorly? How had he not noticed?</p>
<p>Resting his wrists on his brow, Loki allowed his mind to wander. He found himself remembering a time shortly after Thor recovered from the exhaustion that afflicted him when he first arrived in New Asgard. He remembered a particularly harrowing incident when they had both almost come to harm.</p>
<p>**</p>
<p>Loki’s eyes fluttered and were met with darkness. He rubbed them, sniffling. Something was wrong.</p>
<p>“Thor?” he whispered, glancing to the side of the bed where his brother usually slept. It was empty. The trickster’s eyes widened, and he felt a brief sense of alarm as his eyes darted around the room. They landed on a broad shadowy form sitting at the foot of the bed. Leaning over to the bedside table, Loki switched on the lamp and a warm glow filled the dark room.</p>
<p>Thor was sitting rigidly at the foot of the bed, holding a sword. Loki frowned and tilted his head. His brother had only recently recovered from exhaustion. For the past two weeks, he’d started remaining awake longer and was able to do more things on his own. Even though he still refused to see a healer, Loki took it as a good sign.</p>
<p>Except…the past few nights, Thor had barely slept at all.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?”</p>
<p>Thor shushed him. “Go back to sleep, Loki.”</p>
<p>“What about you?”</p>
<p>“I’m fine. I’m not tired,” Thor replied, mumbling under his breath. “I have slept enough.”</p>
<p>“Brother, you’re acting foolish. Put the weapon away and go to sleep.”</p>
<p>“I’m not acting foolish! We don’t know how many other monsters are out there!” Thor snapped. “Gods know how much you excel at finding trouble.”</p>
<p>Loki stared at him. “Thor.”</p>
<p>Thor twisted slightly to look at him and Loki shook his head. “There are no more monsters out there. We are in no danger—”</p>
<p>“The last time I thought that…” Thor trailed off and twisted back around. “Get some rest, brother. I shall keep watch.”</p>
<p>“You do not need to keep watch. You <em>need</em> to get some sleep.”</p>
<p>“I will check the locks again,” Thor muttered, ignoring him. He stood up, swaying slightly. Loki rolled his eyes and threw back the covers, rising out of bed. It was too late at night for this. He approached his brother.</p>
<p>“Thor, we checked the locks before we went to bed. They are secure,” Loki tried to reassure the god of thunder.</p>
<p>“I shall check them anyway,” Thor replied. Loki ran his hands over his face, his frustration mounting. Thor had just recovered from his exhaustion. They didn’t need a new malady to figure out.</p>
<p>“Do you want me to cast a sleeping spell? Perhaps that would—”</p>
<p>“NO!” Thor shouted and jumped away from his startled brother. “Do not make me sleep, Loki! I will never forgive you if you do that!”</p>
<p>Loki raised his hands, his eyes widening, shocked by the reaction. “All right, all right. I won’t. I swear.”</p>
<p>Thor stood stiffly, watching him warily. Loki could see his hands were shaking and imagined he was probably trembling. His eye kept darting toward the door.</p>
<p>“I will not be caught unawares again,” Thor muttered. “Never again.”</p>
<p>Loki opened his mouth to respond but closed it again. His brother was acting very strange and Loki couldn’t figure out what the problem was. He had never seen Thor behave like this before.</p>
<p>“Very well, do what you want. I’m going back to sleep,” Loki grumbled, moving back to the bed. He was about to get back in, but paused, looking to where his brother was standing, looking between the door and Loki. The trickster sighed and massaged his temples. He had so much to do tomorrow and didn’t have time for this nonsense.</p>
<p>And yet…</p>
<p>“Would you feel better if I accompanied you to check the locks?” Loki guessed. Thor swallowed and looked down to his feet, shuffling uncomfortably. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. The trickster stood up and moved back to the god of thunder.</p>
<p>“Very well, lead the way, brother,” he said. Thor glanced over at him, and Loki could see the faintest hint of surprise in his expression. The god of thunder cleared his throat.</p>
<p>“Stay behind me, Loki. I shan’t allow any harm to befall you,” Thor instructed. Loki rolled his eyes, but moved to stand behind the god of thunder. If his brother wanted to act a fool, Loki wasn’t going to stop him. He would do whatever it took to get some decent sleep.</p>
<p>Yet deep in his heart, a sense of concern was starting to grow.</p>
<p>_*_</p>
<p>Loki slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times. The bright light of the day was streaming through the windows. Realizing he was leaning against Thor, sleeping with his head on his brother’s shoulder, Loki straightened up and looked over at the god of thunder. Thor was still sitting at the edge of the bed, alert though he could not conceal the tiredness in his face. He was still holding his sword and his blue eye was fixed on their door.</p>
<p>“Did you sleep at all?” Loki asked as he stretched. Thor shook his head.</p>
<p>“I do not require any sleep. I have slept enough,” he muttered. He glanced at his brother, affection dancing across his expression. “Your sleep was peaceful though. I am glad.”</p>
<p>Loki ran a hand over his face. He was still tired and had barely gotten any sleep last night.</p>
<p>“I will take care of things today. You need rest,” Loki told him as he attempted to take his sword away.</p>
<p>“No! I will not rest while there are still threats out there,” Thor snapped at him.</p>
<p>“Thor, there’s no threat,” Loki insisted, frustrated. “Gods, what is wrong with you?”</p>
<p>“Nothing,” Thor replied defensively. Loki rubbed his brow, fed up with this conversation. This was complete nonsense. Glancing back to his brother, Loki noticed tremors wracking his hands. He really hadn’t had enough sleep to deal with this. Loki looked back to Thor’s face.</p>
<p>“I shall prepare breakfast for us. Do you wish to accompany me?” Loki asked. Thor nodded rapidly. Ever since recovering from exhaustion, he’d followed Loki around the small home, rarely letting his brother out of his sight.</p>
<p>They entered the kitchen and Thor moved over to the table, slumping in his seat. Loki glanced over his shoulder, watching as Thor rested his chin on his arm. He looked so tired.</p>
<p>“I have to go to the town hall today,” Loki mentioned as he started gathering the ingredients he would need to make a simple breakfast.</p>
<p>“Why?” Thor asked, a hint of nervousness in his voice. Loki looked over at him.</p>
<p>“There are some matters that require my attention, which I have put off for far too long.”</p>
<p>“Can you not take care of them here?”</p>
<p>“I’m afraid not,” Loki half-lied, turning to face his brother. “Thor, while I’m there, I want you to get some sleep.”</p>
<p>Thor swallowed and looked away. “How long will you be gone?”</p>
<p>Loki shrugged. “Not very long. Only an hour or two, three at most.”</p>
<p>Thor nodded, but he was obviously still unhappy and perhaps even a little agitated. Loki felt some sympathy, but also aggravation. He massaged his brow, suddenly feeling very claustrophobic.</p>
<p>“You do want this place to still be functional when you take over the role of leader, do you not?” Loki asked. “Countries do not run themselves, Thor.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Thor replied, a hint of petulance in his tone. Loki moved across the space, standing across the table from his brother.</p>
<p>“Give me your phone,” Loki requested. Thor glanced at him, taking out the cell phone Brunnhilde had acquired for him at Loki’s request. Loki took it from his brother and unlocked the screen, tapping the contacts.</p>
<p>“I’m putting my number into your contacts, both for the phone in my office at the town hall and my own cell phone,” he explained as his fingers flew over the touchscreen. “If you need to reach me, you can call me at either of these numbers.”</p>
<p>He handed the phone back to the god of thunder. Thor took it and studied the number on the screen.</p>
<p>“That is for an emergency, brother. Do not contact me for anything frivolous. You also have Brunnhilde’s and Eir’s numbers. They will be able to offer any assistance you need,” Loki told him. “I promise you, I won’t be gone very long. And I shall call you if I’m going to be delayed.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Thor said quietly. Loki yawned as he turned back to the stove, feeling a little more confident that he would be able to review and sign the few documents that he needed to. Thor would be fine on his own for a short while. He was Thor. <em>Perhaps he’ll even manage to sleep for a bit,</em> Loki thought hopefully as he refocused on making breakfast.</p>
<p>_*_</p>
<p>A loud bang of thunder woke Loki and he sat straight up, startled. Glancing over to the window, he noticed the violent storm outside. Odd, it had been sunny when he had…</p>
<p>Groaning, Loki dropped his head into his hands. After meeting with the advisors and signing the documents he needed to sign, Loki had been prepared to return home. But he had lingered, deciding to review some other documents. He was reluctant to go home and besides, there were always matters to see to.</p>
<p>He had not intended to fall asleep.</p>
<p>Frowning, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, curious about what time it was.</p>
<p>Seven o’clock! Loki shot out of his seat, dread filling his heart. There were numerous texts and missed messages from his brother. Norns, he had been gone more than eleven hours. He had only intended to be gone two or three at the most. His brother had been trying to reach him all afternoon and Loki hadn’t answered. Oh gods!</p>
<p>Running out of the office, Loki composed a quick text to his brother and sent it. Deciding that wasn’t fast enough, he dialed the number to their home. The phone rang.</p>
<p>And rang.</p>
<p>And rang.</p>
<p>By the time he left the town hall, Loki was sprinting, anxiety pumping in every beat of his heart. It had been a stupid mistake he had made, but his brother would be okay. Thor would undoubtedly be cross with him, but he would be fine. <em>Please be okay, Thor. Dear gods, please be all right.</em></p>
<p>_*_</p>
<p>“Thor!” Loki called out as he burst through the front door of their home. He was sopping wet, having run all the way home in the pouring rain. Lightning split the sky and thunder rumbled behind him. The trickster closed the door and stepped more into the hall. Dread filled his heart and suddenly, Loki was convinced he’d lost Thor all over again.</p>
<p>“Thor!” Loki called again, anxiously. The house was unnaturally quiet. <em>Norns, please don’t let him have done anything foolish,</em> the trickster thought as he stepped further into the house. There was no response.</p>
<p>He opened his mouth to call again when a solid form slammed into him, knocking him against the wall so hard that all the breath rushed out of his body. He stared into his brother’s furious face.</p>
<p>“Foul creature, what have you done with my brother?” Thor snarled at him. Loki squinted at him, unsure if he had heard him correctly.</p>
<p>“Thor, it’s me,” he started.</p>
<p>“Liar!” Thor shouted and threw Loki to the ground. The trickster hit the floor hard, pain rushing through him.</p>
<p>“Where is Loki!?” Thor yelled at him.</p>
<p>“What in the seven hels has gotten into you?” Loki snapped as he pushed himself off the ground. “It’s me, you fool.”</p>
<p>Thor grabbed him again, slamming him back against the wall. Loki was about to shove him away, but found a worryingly sharp blade at his throat. Past the deadly blade, Loki could see the furious face of his brother, his eye welling up with tears. It was enough to make him realize how perilous the situation was.</p>
<p>“What have you done with Loki?” Thor snarled from behind grit teeth. Loki swallowed, slowly raising his hands to show he had no weapon.</p>
<p>“Thor. It’s me. I swear to—” Loki replied calmly.</p>
<p>“Don’t,” Thor hissed, pressing the blade more against Loki’s neck. “Do not mock me and use his voice. You are not he though you wear his face. You will tell me what you have done with my brother.”</p>
<p>“He stands before you,” Loki said, trying to smile. “Do you not recognize me, brother? Surely I have not changed that much.”</p>
<p>“How dare you!” Thor growled. “How dare you wear his face! My brother was a noble, honorable man, a hero. You are unworthy to wear that visage. I will only ask you once more: what have you done with Loki?”</p>
<p>“And I shall tell you again, I am he!”</p>
<p>Thor’s eyes burned with rage. “He would have called. If he had been delayed, he would have called. You have done something to Loki, and I will see you dead if he is harmed in any way.”</p>
<p>Thor pressed the blade more against Loki’s neck, drawing a thin line of blood. Loki felt a tremor go through him, which he did his best to hide. Thor was scaring him.</p>
<p>“Thor, brother,” Loki tried again, keeping his voice calm. “I apologize for not answering the phone and for being late. I lost track of time. You always used to complain about that, remember? Time sometimes gets away from me when I’m focused on something.”</p>
<p>Thor didn’t move, still glaring at Loki with hatred and rage. There was also a hint of sorrow and loss. A single tear crawled down the god of thunder’s face and Loki felt a pang in his chest. He did so hate to see his brother hurting.</p>
<p>“It’s me, Thor. It’s Loki,” the trickster told him softly, willing him to hear and understand his words. “I’m here.”</p>
<p>“Prove it,” Thor demanded. “Or you will drown in your own blood.”</p>
<p>Loki held his brother’s gaze and allowed his Jotun form to manifest. Thor’s eye widened, horror overtaking the rage in his expression. Loki felt hurt to see such an expression in reaction to him. Until he realized what his brother was actually horrified by. It was not Loki’s Jotun form, but in reaction to what Thor had almost done.</p>
<p>The sword dropped to the floor with a clatter and Thor fell to his knees.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Loki. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…I would never,” Thor choked on a sob, murmuring apologies over and over again, until he was weeping them.</p>
<p>Loki stared at him, stunned. He reached up to his neck, which was aching. Putting his fingers against where the blade had been, Loki looked at them and was shocked to see traces of blood. Looking back to his brother, Loki tried to be angry. A part of him wanted to snap at Thor, yell at him for being so bloody impulsive and stupid. He wanted to storm past his brother and spend the rest of his night ignoring the oaf.</p>
<p>But seeing Thor on his knees, weeping at his feet, the trickster felt his annoyance and anger dissipate. Loki’s mind briefly turned to the aftermath of the battle in Wakanda, coming across his brother’s broken body. After what Thanos had done to him.</p>
<p>
  <em>He had to be more, just like Thor had told him he could be. Back on Sakaar.</em>
</p>
<p>Loki closed his eyes and let out his breath, allowing his Aesir form to manifest again. Opening his eyes, he knelt in front of his brother, grasping Thor’s shoulders. Thor looked up at him, tears and sweat coating his features. He did look rather dreadful.</p>
<p>“I’m all right,” Loki reassured him, calmly, with a faint smile. “Thor, I’m all right.”</p>
<p>Thor’s face crumpled again and he wrapped his arms around Loki, sobs tearing through him as he embraced his brother, clinging to the trickster as though he were afraid he would disappear.</p>
<p>“Forgive me, brother. I swear, I did not mean to hurt you. I would never…” Thor became incoherent as he sobbed. Loki cradled the back of his head, the way Frigga had done with him in the past when he needed comfort.</p>
<p>“There is nothing to forgive. You are tired and not yourself. No lasting harm was done,” Loki told him, allowing Thor to cry on his shoulder. “As I said, I’m all right. Really I am.”</p>
<p>“I’m a terrible brother,” Thor cried. Something about that felt like a knife through Loki’s heart. He hugged his brother tighter.</p>
<p>“Do not say such things,” he said. “You are a good brother, perhaps among the best there is.”</p>
<p>“You are lying,” Thor sniffled.</p>
<p>“Well, I am the god of lies. But I swear to you, I am not lying about this,” Loki replied. “You are not a terrible brother, Thor. An oafish one at times, occasionally an infuriating and annoying one, but not a bad one.”</p>
<p>The god of thunder continued crying, trembling in his brother’s arms. Loki continued comforting him, hoping he was doing so correctly. He tried to think of other ways to reassure his brother. His mind came up blank and he sighed.</p>
<p>“Well, I was able to finish what I set out to accomplish at the town hall,” Loki mentioned off-handedly. “Brother, why don’t we take a short nap before dinner? Please?”</p>
<p>Thor sniffled and scrubbed at his teary eyes, shaking his head. “No, I must leave this place. I am a danger to you. I might have…I might have killed you.”</p>
<p>Loki snickered. “You give yourself far too much credit, Thor. Not even you are that great of a warrior.”</p>
<p>Thor looked at him, tears still running down his face. “Loki, I do not know what is wrong with me. I no longer feel like myself and I do not understand why.”</p>
<p>“It is because you are tired. You will marvel at how much can be fixed by a decent rest,” Loki replied, grasping his brother’s hands and helping him to his feet. Thor looked at him, tired but still skeptical.</p>
<p>“I have not slept well since my exhaustion,” he confessed, closing his eye and putting a hand to his brow. His face twisted briefly in a grimace of pain. “My dreams are haunted by memories of loss and war. I cannot sleep brother. It causes me far too much hurt.”</p>
<p>Loki sighed. “Can you at least lay down and rest? Even if you cannot sleep, you must rest.”</p>
<p>Thor swayed a little on his feet. “Will you stay?”</p>
<p>“If you wish for me to,” Loki agreed. “Come.”</p>
<p>Thor’s shoulders slumped in defeat and he nodded, following his brother into their room. He sat on the bed and watched as Loki retrieved dry clothes.</p>
<p>“I shall be back in a moment, Thor,” Loki told him. The god of thunder nodded, and Loki moved out of the room, heading for the bathroom. He grabbed a towel and dried his long hair as best he could. Once he did, he removed his wet clothing and pulled on the dry ones. Looking in the mirror, he noticed the superficial wound on his neck was already gone. Thor had barely even nicked him, though Loki decided to put away the blades they had in the house. Switching off the bathroom light, Loki left the room and returned to the bedroom.</p>
<p>He found Thor still sitting on the bed, staring at his clasped hands, shame coloring his expression.</p>
<p>“Are you all right, brother?” Loki asked as he moved over to the laundry basket and tossed his damp clothing in it. Thor nodded, but didn’t lift his head.</p>
<p>Loki moved back to the bed and got in on his side. He rolled onto his side, watching as Thor swung his legs up on the bed and scooted closer to Loki. The dark-haired god wrapped his arms around his brother, holding him in a gentle but comfortable embrace. Some of the tension left Thor’s body and he sighed softly. One of his warm hands covered Loki’s and the trickster closed his eyes, already feeling himself drift off. He felt Thor roll onto his back, the way he preferred to sleep.</p>
<p>“Loki?”</p>
<p><em>He always wants to talk when I’m about to fall asleep,</em> Loki thought irritably as he grunted in reply.</p>
<p>“Did you forget about me? In the years I was gone?”</p>
<p>“Yes, Thor. The minute I left Wakanda, I forgot all about you,” Loki said snarkily. He was pleased when he heard Thor snicker quietly. Loki opened his eyes and studied his brother’s face. Even though he was smiling faintly, he looked troubled. His smile faded and he swallowed, his eye remaining on the ceiling.</p>
<p>“I worried,” Thor said quietly. “I worried that you would have. Or that you would have wanted to. I would not have blamed you, if you had. Grief is difficult to endure. New Asgard is such a magnificent place. Building it was no small feat. Surely your memories of me faded a little.”</p>
<p>Loki shook his head. “No. If you want the truth, you were in everything I did while I built this place. Every decision I made, every document I signed, every advisor I hired. There was rarely a day that went by where I didn’t think about you or remember something from our childhood. There was never any chance of me forgetting you, Thor. I don’t think I ever could.”</p>
<p>Pausing, Loki swallowed and hesitantly admitted, “I wouldn’t want to.”</p>
<p>Thor looked over at him, tears welling up in his eye. He reached over and embraced him tightly, burying his face in Loki’s hair. The dark-haired god allowed his brother to carry on for a bit, though he didn’t notice he was holding the god of thunder almost as tightly. Thor was hurting so much and while Loki had difficulty admitting it, he was worried. Thor had always been so resilient, practically invincible. He had never seen Thor so affected by war before, particularly not one he and his allies emerged victorious from.</p>
<p>Loki had been trying to figure out the source of Thor’s continued distress and he simply couldn’t do it. Thor would get over it eventually. Things would go back to normal. Loki just had to be patient.</p>
<p>Eventually, Thor let go of Loki, but he stayed facing him. His expression still was so troubled, and Loki searched his mind for some way to bring back the god of thunder’s smile. Thor curled up beside him.</p>
<p>“Did you forget me?” Loki teased. Thor was quiet for a moment as he remained curled up next to Loki.</p>
<p>“I do not remember being brought back or much of what happened during the first few months after my return,” Thor started. “I do remember calling out for you. When I was…when I was in that place, where I was brought back, I begged to see you every day. They convinced me you had perished, but even after I started doubting my memory and believing those lies, there was not a day that went by when I didn’t think of you, Loki. I cherished those memories. They were precious to me, as they always have been.”</p>
<p>Thor went quiet again and moved even closer to Loki. “My memories of you are what helped me endure. They were often my only comfort.”</p>
<p>Loki gently ran his fingers through Thor’s short hair and Thor closed his eye, still clinging tightly to his brother.</p>
<p>“I thought about you every day I was in Wakanda, while I was recovering,” Thor continued. “My recovery was slow and agonizing, and frequently tedious. Thinking of you, our adventures together, your mischief, it helped me endure the pain and the frustration. Sometimes I would recall a trick you played and it would make me smile.”</p>
<p>Loki chuckled softly. “Normally you’re rather cross when I play tricks on you.”</p>
<p>Thor smiled faintly, though there was a sadness in it as there always was nowadays. “Perhaps in the moment. But I have grown used to your mischief. I even appreciate it because it is a part of who you are. You are so much more than your mischief, but that is an important part of you and I would not change that. It is one of your strengths and I know your magic and mischief have saved us many a time.”</p>
<p>Loki felt his heart warm and swallowed the tears that wanted to fall. His brother could still surprise him, even now. Even though they were at peace with each other, the trickster found he still underestimated the depth of his brother’s love.</p>
<p>Noticing Thor shiver, Loki wrapped his arms around his brother again. Thor instantly relaxed, but looked at his brother curiously.</p>
<p>“I have noticed, during what little sleep you manage to get, your rest is longer and more peaceful when I hold onto you,” Loki explained as he straightened the covers. Closing his eyes, he held Thor close. The trickster had always been very particular about his space, but he no longer cared about it so much.</p>
<p>“Thank you, brother,” Thor whispered softly. Loki knew he was thanking him for more than just the covers. Resting his head over his brother’s, Loki drifted off into a peaceful sleep. No matter how trying the day, there was always tomorrow.</p>
<p>_*_</p>
<p>The sound of the study door opening brought Loki back to the present. He glanced up as his brother emerged into the main area of the house. Thor flopped down on the couch, his elbow brushing against Loki’s.</p>
<p>“Feeling better?” Loki asked chipperly. Thor glanced over at him, a slight smile dancing over his lips.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid not. These episodes take some time to subside,” he responded. “But I am feeling less weighed down by it. I shall be able to endure it now.”</p>
<p>Loki furrowed his brow, trying to think of what to say. He had come to accept that Thor’s condition was not curable, and it was something he would always have. Some days were difficult for him, but at least Thor often could recognize such times and communicate what he needed. It was better than the early days, when neither of them had any idea what was happening and struggled to figure out how to treat the god of thunder’s symptoms.</p>
<p>Though things were more manageable now didn’t mean Loki felt any less frustration at being unable to help Thor. The trickster was used to problems with concrete solutions. Even the most difficult of problems had an answer, a way to solve it. The idea that it didn’t was absolutely maddening.</p>
<p>Thor sighed and turned his face toward the ceiling, closing his eye.</p>
<p>“I take it speaking with your therapist went well?” Loki said and Thor nodded, not opening his eye. Loki played with his fingers a little. “Is there nothing I can do to help?”</p>
<p>Thor opened his eye and smiled at his brother, a small though still warm smile. He reached out to the trickster, pulling the dark-haired god into a hug. Loki rolled his eyes. Of course, Thor would want to paw at him. The oaf loved such nauseating gestures of affection.</p>
<p>“You are here with me,” Thor whispered, gently kissing his brother’s head. “That is enough. That will always be enough.”</p>
<p>Loki allowed Thor to carry on for a few moments more and then maneuvered out of the hug, brushing his long hair back and smoothing his now rumpled clothing.</p>
<p>“I am glad to hear it. I still wish these doctors and specialists could fix these ailments. They’re so dreadful and inconvenient,” Loki grumbled. <em>And it hurts to see you in so much pain. I do not like that you suffer so, even if it has gotten better and more manageable.</em></p>
<p>Thor shrugged. “Perhaps it has made me a better leader.”</p>
<p>Loki stared at the god of thunder as if he had just declared a plan to start a chicken farm in their back yard. “I beg your pardon?”</p>
<p>“Do you think we would have done any serious research into mental health had it not been for my illness?” Thor pointed out. “Perhaps we would have read about them, briefly, but I would have been distracted by some other matter. I don’t think I would have given any serious thought to mental health. I fear I would have continued on the Aesir tradition of ignoring the problem while our people suffered.”</p>
<p>Loki furrowed his brow, trying to wrap his mind around what his brother was saying. “Are you honestly telling me that you enjoy these episodes? That you are glad to live with such an illness? Do I need to readmit you to the hospital?”</p>
<p>“Nobody enjoys living with mental illness, Loki. It is challenging, practically every day,” Thor explained calmly. “However, I understand that. I feel understanding is invaluable for a leader. My experience with this illness has allowed us to create one of the best mental health programs in this world. Our people who live with such disorders and illnesses are now able to get the help they need to live and thrive. The stigma around such topics is gradually starting to fade. I am proud of that. It is one of our greatest accomplishments.”</p>
<p>“And you only had to nearly lose your life in order to achieve it,” Loki quipped.</p>
<p>“But I had you,” Thor pointed out, smiling faintly. “I had you to look out for me, when I could not help myself.”</p>
<p>Loki raised an eyebrow, appreciating the recognition. Thor closed his eye and turned his face up to the ceiling.</p>
<p>“I love the life we lead now,” Thor said quietly. “I wish we didn’t have to endure such pain and trauma to end up here, but we can make the most of our experiences. The good and the bad.”</p>
<p>“It is a good life,” Loki agreed, leaning against Thor. “Albeit a dull one at times.”</p>
<p>Thor snickered. “I will teach you to appreciate an uneventful life yet, brother. Mark my words.”</p>
<p><em>Not bloody likely,</em> Loki thought with a smirk.</p>
<p>The god of thunder paused, sniffling. “You are a good brother, Loki, and I’m grateful for everything you continue to do, both for me and for New Asgard.”</p>
<p>Loki looked over at him, searching his face for any lie or untruth. As usual, Thor was being completely honest and forthright. It still surprised Loki how much his brother needed him, how much faith he had in him, even after everything that had happened.</p>
<p>“If you’re expecting gratitude,” Loki warned and he was pleased to hear his brother chuckle, shaky though it was. The trickster was entirely unsurprised when his brother wrapped his arms around Loki, hugging him firmly.</p>
<p>“I love you, brother,” Thor said. He had made it a point to regularly remind the trickster he was loved, no matter how much Loki rolled his eyes. At first, it had been rather annoying and maudlin. But Loki had come to appreciate it. He had spent so long without others that he’d almost forgotten what it was like to have someone who genuinely cared about him and his well-being. In his years running, Loki had almost forgotten what having family was like. Now that he had it again, he found he liked it. But he would never admit to such out loud.</p>
<p>He leaned into his brother’s embrace, hiding the content smile that was dancing across his lips. They really did have a good life.</p>
<p>“The feeling is mutual, Thor,” Loki said.</p>
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    <em>The End</em>
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